Category Archives: Payroll

Take our celebrity name quiz…

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The following celebrities all changed their names before making it big.
How many can you get?

Nordens Chartered Accountants

Here’s a clue – she’s one of the answers!

  1. Peter Hernandez
  2. Maurice Micklewhite
  3. Shawn Carter
  4. Robyn Fenty
  5. Katheryn Hudson
  6. Lizzie Grant
  7. Sean Combs
  8. Farrokh Bulsara
  9. Stevland Hardaway Judkins
  10. Florian Cloud De Bounevialle Armstrong
  11. Jonathan Michal Francis O’Keefe
  12. Mark Sinclair Vincent
  13. Eric Bishop
  14. Caryn Johnson
  15. Jim Moir

Changes to the payroll system means that Sharon needs you to check whether anyone in your team has also changed their name.  We don’t need to know why – marriage, divorce, new partnerships, celebrity name change (although if you’re self-employed the reason could affect your tax, so you might want to give us a call).

If you have any questions about the new payroll system, call Sharon on 0208 530 0720.

Going for Gold

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Only one person can keep us in line
Make sure that our letters are posted on time
Tell us that working ‘til midnight is fine
And keep us all functioning on cloud nine

One person in Woodford who keeps the peace
Checks we’re accounting (like the secret police)
Makes tea, orders pizza and won’t allow sleaze
Keeping vat/ payroll/ tax people down on our knees

……(Ok, not a lot rhymed with that…)

There’s only one person who rules the roost
Sorts out any problems the boys have produced
Speaks nice on the phone so complaints are reduced
……(Complaints?  What are complaints?)
And butters up clients so they think they’re seduced
……(In a purely professional manner, of course)

They say that behind every successful man
Is a woman with a story to be told
And the woman keeping us lot on our toes
Is the very lovely Lisa Gold

If you would like a happy chat with Lisa, ring her on 0208 530 0720.

Busy fingers in Woodford

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Today we’ve got absolutely nothing to tell you!  No one’s done anything interesting or fun apparently.  Or maybe just nothing they’re willing to admit!!  Obviously all too tied up working hard on your tax returns.  No one’s prepared to offer any gossip… It seems their heads are down, fingers doing overtime on the calculators, making sure your vat and payroll figures are present and correct.  No one’s got any funny or mischievous photos secretly snapped by the water fountain.  Maybe because we haven’t got a water fountain.

So if you were hoping for some Monday laughs at our expense…  ho hum (fingers drumming on desks).  All I can say is that our Woodford office definitely needs livening up before Thursday.  So why don’t you call in and do some sort of crazy dance on Sharon’s desk, or shower Sam with jelly beans that we can all scramble around to catch our favourite flavours.  If you’re one of our media clients you could bounce in with your band and amp and play some Bon Jovi at top volume so they can hear you in Wanstead, Ilford and right out in deepest darkest Essex.   Come and entertain us… bring doughnuts!

Gifts and tax – what you need to know

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Hope you had a good father’s day yesterday if you’re a dad, or you have a dad, or you know any dads.  Gifts were floating around our office in South Woodford and the air was colourful with glittery wrappings and ribbons. (Yeah, we wish!)  Still, all this present giving reminds us that substantial gifts can have certain tax implications.  So if you’re planning to gift large sums of money or property to your family, check with us first so we can explain clearly the basics of capital gains tax and inheritance tax.

It’s worth noting that some beneficiaries are exempt from inheritance tax: husbands, wives, charities, some political parties.  We’re not exempt, being your accountancy and payroll specialists – which is a bit sad, because we love gifts.  Especially chocolates… and doughnuts!!

Bookkeeping made simple

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If you’re an n-books client you’ll be pleased to hear that Tham has trained us all so we can be really really helpful when you ring us with queries.  Although so far, we’re finding that there are hardly any queries, because it’s such an easy bookkeeping system to use.  We’re trying to get everyone in Wanstead and Redbridge switched on to it now, before we start with our London base, but wherever you are, feel free to jump on board.

This could be you…

If you’re not an n-books client you’re probably wondering what we’re talking about? Well, it’s simple!  It’s a bookkeeping system that does everything apart from ordering your pizza.  It’s quick, efficient and does loads of the boring stuff itself – like dealing with vat, taxes, quotes, invoices, orders and more. It also does some amazing whizzy things, so you can create fantastic management reports at the touch of your smartphone button.  Find out about it here!

 

So, while everyone thinks you’re busy doing the bookkeeping, you can really be lying out in the sunshine with a mojito…

…or this could be you

Accountant wins the football league in Woodford? You’d better believe it!

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The football predictor results are in and guess who won in our Woodford division??  Yes, it was the boss!!  An accountant and strategic planner winning the football league – no comment…

Now I’m not suggesting that any cheating went on here, but Mitch, being an ex-professional footballer, was always more likely to come out on top than, let’s face it, a golfer!!  And no one from our Soho office came anywhere near the top ten – what’s with that?!

Yiota came top of the ladies – I’m not telling tales out of school, but the whispers are that she could have easily cleaned up, but chose to let the men take the top two positions for a peaceful life…

(This blogger is now waiting for the email telling her she’s been fired…)

If you’re thinking of ‘losing’ a member of staff for any reason, don’t forget to let Sharon know, so we can ensure the smooth running of your payroll.  But surely you won’t be sacking anyone over something as important as the football predictor…

As you can see, Mark's not new to this football game...

Paperless, payroll and Ps & Qs

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It’s the end of year meltdown for our payroll department and Sharon seems to be drowning under a pile of rather ugly looking blue-coloured files.  Most of our admin is dealt with in South Woodford – we keep the elegant Soho offices for meetings and entertaining – your files and records are all safely stored away in a dungeon in Essex.  So if we tell you in a couple of weeks that Sharon has vanished, please remind us to look for her in the old file room, probably squashed between the Ps and Qs…  It’s obviously a good thing that our payroll function is transferring solely to email – as you know, we’ve gone paperless: more environmentally good stuff and a safer working environment for Sharon.

If you have any questions about your payroll, want to find out more about what we do, or simply check that Sharon is ok, give us a call.

Actually, Sharon’s not blonde!! (Pic courtsey of Astrow Suite)